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The True Benefits of Being a Military Spouse

Okay, so you’re married to the military. You go tax-free shopping at the PX and the commissary, but have you ever really thought about what REAL benefits you have besides the tax-free shopping? Here are some things to think about.

Have you ever sat and thought about what you like about being a military wife? I know we all complain…hey, it’s human nature, so that’s acceptable. But, there must be something you like about it. If someone asked you today what you like about your military nomadic life, what would you say? Here’s what I would say:

  • I love when my husband returns from his deployment, and we get to have a honeymoon all over again!
  • I love to travel all over the world, live in new places, experience new cultures..and when I am tired of that one, I know I will soon be moving on to the next one (this even includes places in good ole’ US of A, because “down in the Bayou” is much different than “living in the Big Apple”
  • The military discounts available at theme parks, restaurants and shopping are great
  • The sense of independence, adventure, maturity and flexibility I am instilling in my children will last them a lifetime
  • I love the sense of pride and patriotism that comes out in me, because you just can’t help it with your surroundings
  • It’s great to have the many discounted and free programs and opportunities available to the military through organizations on post such as Army Community Service
  • I love the ease of making friends with other military wives and families, because we all tend to do this automatically with all the moving around we do
  • The educational opportunities for me and my husband, most times free and low cost, are a nice thing to have
  • The opportunities for us to network in our jobs, so we can find our rightful place after the military are plentiful
  • The free healthcare most Americans are struggling to pay or can’t pay at all may be reason enough right there (and from personal experience, the quality of care can be quite good, depending on where you are)
  • The job security my husband has knowing he won’t ever be fired (you’d have to screw up badly to be “let go”; never say never, but I am comparing his work to let’s say someone who works in some mindless corporation somewhere; they disappear and fold up everyday; if the Army folds up, we are in trouble as a nation)
  • The guaranteed pension plan (the day the military makes the pension plan go away completely is the day the country will truly be broke; you see Fortune 500 companies all the time doing away with their pensions; the government will surely be the last to go this route)
  • The interesting shopping booty from exotic locales at reduced prices and before they hit popularity in the States; Polish Pottery and Czech crystal immediately come to mind
  • The unexpected sight of my husband when he comes home early from work or gets an unexpected day off; even though he works long hours, it’s nice to see him getting some free time when least expected (and the kids are in school)

What do you see as the benefits?

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54 Responses to “The True Benefits of Being a Military Spouse”

  1. Katt says:

    I am not a military wife but hubby is seriously looking into it. As we were going over our options we started picking out little things that would be cool about the military. When I see a soldier I automatically feel this sense of pride and gratitude when I think of that soldier being my husband I’ll admit I get a little queasy but the sense of pride and gratitude are multiplied also. We love to travel and so that to sounds fun. We have no healthcare and as you said right now that may be the defining thing. The thought of seeing my hubby in uniform or fatigues I must say makes me swoon a little. LOL. Most importantly the feeling of knowing he is doing something for others that he has a purpose other than just taking care of us. That he will be making that difference. I’m a bit of a selfish wife when it comes to my hubby so I think that the biggest change will have to be in me. Am I willing to do that well I guess I’ll have to be.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’ve gotten many free things! I have gotten concert tickets, show tickets, free gifts and dinners and even many handshakes and hugs from people thanking not just my husband for his service but me too! Our hometown even had a parade and party with my husband as the grand marshal the last time he came back from Iraq.

  3. Patrick says:

    And so many more that you didn’t mention because putting them into words is so hard to do. My wife and I both served, and I agree, there are hundreds of benefits to serving. Being a military spouse is not an easy task, but the rewards (not just monetary) are worth it. :)

  4. Anonymous says:

    My name is Andrea and I am thinking about joining the military but I only know how to type and do things on the computer. I don’t know if there would be a spot they could use me in that would not require me to go to war. I have two children, one in pull-ups and the other in the 4th grade. This would a be a very serious decision to make for my family so I am trying to get all of the information that I can. You can email me at

  5. ****Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife**** says:

    You already have the wrong attitude. Go into the military with your eyes wide open and do your research. In today’s world, you will at some point be in harm’s way…it’s a given…doesn’t matter if you are male or female. Also, being a mother, it will be mandated that you have a family care plan, in writing, on who will take care of your children when (not if) you deploy, or for those times your unit does training. This person also has to agree on paper.

    It can be done, but it takes a strong person to handle such things. As far as training, the Army will train you for everything it wants you to do. You won’t be thrown into any situation without the training first…so that is one thing that you shouldn’t be worrying about.

    Talk to others, especially women in the military….good luck to you. It can be a great confidence builder, make you a stronger person and take care of you and your family financially, medically, etc. but don’t look at it just as a free meal ticket…go into it for the right reasons.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Hello, I am engaged to a soldier in the Army, we have been together for over seven months. We plan on getting married when he gets a weekend pass (he is in A.I.T.) I was wondering if the military offer counseling for military couples?

  7. ****Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife**** says:

    Definitely and through the chaplain's office. Do you have a post or base near you? If so, your fiance can call there and make an appt. You won't be able to make an appt as a civilian just yet. Just google your state and "military base" or post…once you get to the base's website, look for the # for information or the onpost operator or search for the chaplain or ministry #.

  8. Anonymous says:

    hello i am so relieved to have found your blog, i am a 19 year old who is just finished her first year in college. my boyfriend is 21 and a great guy but just cant seem to find his footing. he is thinking about joining either the marines or the coast guard…. i have so many questions..

  9. Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend of 3 years is thinking of joining the Air Force. He is getting his mechanical engineering degree first. He keeps telling me about all the great benefits, like housing, good schools and his pension. But I don’t know if I am strong enough to be a military wife. What if this pulls us apart instead of bringing us together? That’s my biggest fear. Any advice would be appreciated.

  10. ****Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife**** says:

    I think it does take two mature people to make it work in the long term. Short term, people can pull thru just about anything…keep that in mind, as he is not signing up forever, just for that first enlistment….a few years most likely. Use that as a benchmark. I think back to the time I was a basic training company commander (in a previous life it seems) and even the men and women who "didn't cut it" in basic and had to be let go for medical or other reasons (mostly medical), even they grew as a person and were a much more confident and mature individual…so even in that short time, they were a better person for it. I see nothing but good when someone serves regardless if it's one month or 100! Give it a chance and know that there will be many, many women (spouses) like you with TONS of resources and support. The military is absolutely committed and looks at family as being tons more important than they used to..they know if they lose the family, they lose the soldier, and they just can't afford that right now!

    You're doing the right thing by going online and reading military wife blogs:-) Good luck to you!

  11. Anonymous says:

    I appreciate stumbling across this blog as my husband is considering joining the military. I'm a military brat and in no way did I conceive that when I became an adult I would have to deal with being a military wife. He approached me recently about joining the military and out of our discussion I told him that if he decides to do that I would divorce him (and yeah I feel bad)but at the same time I just want to be stable. We just purchased our first home; have only been married for a year; and I am in school. We have no kids and I truly dont want to deal with being alone all the time while moving around. I am not even able to sale the house for 9 years because of the program that we used to purchase the home. I love him to death but for once in my life I just want to be in one place for more than 2 years at a time. I know it may sound selfish but this is the first time I am able to concentrate on myself without sacrificing anything for anyone as I have been doing since the beginning of our relationship. So helpless and confused…

  12. ****Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife**** says:

    And I appreciate that you took the time to sit down with your husband and talk about it BEFORE he enlisted…so many couples don't do that…and it just ends up planting the seeds of resentment that never quite go away.

    I'm no expert in what makes one person embrace the life and another not…so I'm not even going to begin to guess! It sounds like you are tired..and being tired can make you want to stop.

    Sorry I don't have any more advice for you….other than keeping the lines of communication open between yourself and your spouse and that marriage is a union of give and take…one spouse takes while the other gives, and then vice versa. Good luck to you!

  13. Brit says:

    Hi, i am 19 years old and my fiancée is 22 and in the air force, he has been in for four years and is thinking about reenlisting, he wants my opinion but i'm not quite sure how to give one since i have never lived that life style. I am also in college and we were planning not to tie the knot till 2012 so i would only have a semester left but now he wants to move the wedding to this summer so he can reenlist. he tries to help me by answering the questions i have but i still have so many uncertainties that i just can't get out of my head. I just dont know what to say to him. i love him and yes i want to get married but i would love to have school out of the way at least a little bit. any advice?

  14. ****Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife**** says:

    I don't think I totally understand your question. Your fiance should be able to re-enlist married to you or not. I would say go with your gut feeling on this. You are awfully young and typically, I would personally want to wait until I finished school and was independent and on my own before getting married, with or without the military….but that's just me:-)

  15. pink_suspenders says:

    I'm a military girlfriend and I definitely can relate to feeling excited when my boyfriend is back from work early. I also love the military discounts we get when we go to the movies etc. Of course having to be apart sucks but each time we meet it's like honeymoon all over again!

  16. Anonymous says:

    My name is angela my husband is in Afghanistan right now. I was kiced out of were I was staying and he's not giving me money at all. Idk what to do I need advice. Anyone

  17. ****Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife**** says:

    Please contact your husband's First Sergeant or Commander…you are authorized to money from your husband whether he wants to give it to you or not. Also stop your onpost Legal Office to get advise on what to do next. If you are not near a base, go ahead and call the toll-free number of Military One Source (you'll find it doing a google search). They have counselors there who can advise you further. Sorry for your troubles!

  18. LAB says:

    OMG! I am sooooo happy I stumbled across your blog!
    Hubby is set for BCT in 2 months. We researched before the decision to sign up and we are doing heavy research now. I’m looking forward to a change in our lives. I love to travel and am an independent woman w/ a college degree. So I have been scouring the net for “wives” resources and experiences. I have to say, I am really getting fed up with all the whining. Look, no one WANTS to be w/o their soldier and the military IS what it IS, but there HAS to be GOOD and POSITIVE experiences of being a military spouse…right? I’m interested in the things I can look FORWARD to…not the emotional cauldron that is inevitable. I’m a PROACTIVE type of person. And, honestly, most all of the blogs I have read make me a bit apprehensive about the kind of “support” Mil wives have to offer. I, for one, plan to perk & positive the crap outta my hubby’s Mil career and I hope and pray that I will be able to HELP others out there make a happy and adventurous life as a Mil wife.
    So thank you thank you THANK YOU for being THE FIRST positive blog I have come across in many months! You have NO IDEA how important THIS page is to me and many anonymous others!!!!!!!
    So, uh…..what can I look forward to? ;)

  19. Veteran Military Wife at Life Lessons of a Military Wife says:

    Congrats! You can look forward to a life of all the things I write about:-) Welcome to one BIG family…with all the good and the bad, just like any other family but family it is!

  20. LAB says:

    I came across a book, 1001 Things to Love About Military Life, to be released in Nov of this year (2011) written by other military spouses. I cannot WAIT to get my hands on a copy!!!

  21. C.C.J. says:

    After awkward dates with other people and careless relationships that left us lonely and brokenhearted we finally realized that we were what each other had always been searching for. I was hesitant about him in the start of things because of the fact that he was in the military…but I could no longer deny fate. After loosing touch he found me again…and our chemistry was stronger than ever. We have never felt so safe, secure, happy, and content before with anyone else. We have put God first…and he’s now stationed in my hometown…we plan on spending the rest of our lives together be it God’s will and would love to tie the knot in June 2012. Yes I know it will be rough at time yet I want nothing more than to give him something to look forward to coming home to. =)

  22. Anne says:

    I’m a military wife also. One thing I’m grateful for is the strength I’ve learned to find in myself when i needed it. The greatest motivator for invention is necessity. When dh is deployed you have two choices, be miserable or make the best of it and find positive things in your life to focus on. All the complaining and pitty parties won’t change the situation or make it go by any faster. Same thing when moving. You learn as a military wife to focus on the positives and to be proactive. However, is it worth it? It’s probably made me a stronger person but it’s a hard life at a great cost. My advise to those thinking of marrying a soldier? Run, do not walk, RUN away from this life. You can find someone else to love that won’t require you sacrificing your life for. At the very least do your research. This is NOT an easy lifestyle! I wish I had known what I was getting into. I would have made different life choices!

  23. Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend is seriously considering joining the military. At first I was devastated because I only saw the negative and kept thinking of the horrible things that could happen, from him being in danger to the distance being too much for us to handle. After many many talks I am still concerned but very much at ease after doing some research and especially after coming across this blog. I am happy to see that there are things to look forward to and that it doesn’t all have to be the negative experience I had convinced myself it would be.

  24. hanna says:

    Im a military wife. My husband has been deployed to Afghanistan for the past 7 months sand im 8 months pregnant. We found out I was 3 weeks along a week before he left. I would although these benefits are amazing I would gladly give them all up just to have my husband back. I miss him so much. And it’s killing me to know he wont be able to be here when his son is born. Especially since he’s always wanted a boy.

  25. Chelsey says:

    I have a boyfriend in the military and couldn’t be happier for him. We want to be together and have me live with him, but can’t so that without great expense financially unless we married. We have been talking about marriage and want to get married soon, but don’t want to do it just cause the army won’t allow us to live together without it. He currently in Korea and will be stationed across the country from me in less than 6 months. We’re confused and would like some feedback and advice if possible. Thanks

  26. admin says:

    Congrats to you! You sound very mature. That’s a huge plus! Are you delaying getting married because you are not 100% sure he is the one? Or are you still in school or finishing up at your current location? I’ve found with military life, one spouse has to eventually take the lead career-wise…it’s impossible to keep two careers going at full speed with taking all the opportunities one is offered…one will eventually take the backseat at some point. With that being said, if you answered no to the questions above, you should tie the knot soon. There are some benefits you can take advantage of as a spouse, plus it’ll help with the assignment decisions on where your fiance will serve next. If you just need more time, look at the situation as a test drive if your love can withstand the separation. As a military spouse, your DH will spend considerable time away, and I’ve found the more independent spouses and those who are confident in their relationship do best. Good luck to you and make your decisions wisely and together…don’t let anyone tell you what to do…me included!

  27. Chelsey says:

    No, we live each other very much. It’s an age issue that people keep throwing in our faces. We are both 20, and I’m turning 21 this January. We’re old souls who don’t believe our age is a problem, but we want to marry for us and not for the army. As for jobs, I have no problem being an army house-wife. But I do like to work or be active in our community. I hear the the army is similar to a tight nit family. Would that help with the transition?

  28. Alexandra Hernandez says:

    My name is Alexandra. I am an 18 year old freshman in College. I was recently engaged to my fiancé who is 21 years old and has just left to recruit boot camp training in San Diego for the Marine Corps. I’ve been with him for 3 years. I know that I am very young. & Even though I’ve become discouraged about my engagement and relationship with a soon to be military participant, I have not once thought to leave his side. In the beginning of our relationship I told him I wouldn’t be with him if he enlisted. That was 3 years ago. I’ve learned to accept the fact that for once he wants to do something for himself. Over the years I’ve done my own research and I’ve realized how important this is to him and I finally allowed myself to accept the fact that for as long as I am with him, the military will also be a part of our relationship. He has only been gone for 3 weeks. He has 9 weeks left of training, then a 10 day vacation and back he goes. The first 2 days were extremely hard for me. However I’ve learned that his military enlistment is going to be one of the best things for us. Yes, the separation sucks. But I honestly feel that this is best for the both of us. I will regain my independence and have time for myself. I just received a few letters from him 2 days ago and he says it sucks. But the moment he walks across that stage, it is all going to be worth it. I cannot wait to marry this man. He is my best friend and the love of my life. The only advice I have for anyone going through this is to, STICK TO IT AND STAY BY YOUR MAN’S SIDE. He is going through a very important part of his life and all he needs if the love and support from someone he truly loves. I cannot wait to see what the military has in stored for us and I support him 100%, even if it means leaving my city of Chicago to go to San Diego where he will be stationed. I will go anywhere he goes as long as I am completing my education for myself and supporting my fiancé in all that he does. Good Luck ladies!

  29. Alexandra Hernandez says:

    P.s This blog is absolutely amazing and extremely helpful. Thank you so much!

  30. admin says:

    Spoken with much wisdom! Great advice!

  31. admin says:

    It sure does!

  32. Donell says:

    We’ve been at it for 19 years this month…I say we, because I credit a huge part of our success to my wife’s knowledge of military life. Starting year 1 she learned what a 1st Sergeant was, where is finance, who handles mil records. We see a lot of young spouses who are clueless, who are surprised when the first set of PCS orders come. I had one wife even tell me “I’m a nurse, I don’t expect him to know all my medical stuff and who is in charge at the hospital”, my response “That hospital is never going to hand you a piece of paper telling you to pack up the family and move.” So many young Airmen keep their spouses in the dark and the spouses are content to not ask.

    A HUGE benefit of military life is transparency! No secrets regarding pay, records, services. Will people “forget” to tell you things…yup, all the time. But every single bit of it is available 24/7 via the www. Most regs/guidance/rules/requirements are publicly viewable. Try to google the retirement policies of a few major companies, now do the same for the military…info is abound.

    Another major benny we have enjoyed…military housewives! Sounds sexist, maybe, but when we had kids my wife expressed a desire to be a stay at home mom. How many civ jobs can you sustain a full household on a single paycheck these days? How about doing that at age 24 with no college education? By making smart choices and living within our means my wife has been able to be a full time mom since 1998. This includes living in 2 countries and 5 CONUS assignments during that time. I know for fact we could not have done this as civilians.

  33. lauren says:

    This blog and the answers taught me a lot already! I’m not a military wife. My son’s father asked me to marry him recently, he is away at basic training right now. I’m trying to sort things out and learn everything I can. Is it common for soldiers to propose after they leave? We haven’t been together for months and I just hope he’s asking me for the right reasons and not because he misses home or what have you.

  34. admin says:

    It’s hard to say…seen it go both ways. If you aren’t 100% sure, I would wait until you see him again and spend time with him again.

  35. Martece says:

    i am not a military wife yet either, but i do have a bf who has been in the navy for 2 1/2 years as of now and i have been talking with him to make a career out of it because i’ve seen the good that comes from it but we are both young him being 21 and me being 20 & recently he asked me to marry him, so i’ve been trying to learn all i can about the military and what it would bring to the table for me if i married him and moved to where he was stationed. I want to continue school so i can get my education in something, what i am not to sure of now. however reading some of these post has really helped me a lot. i don’t know if getting married so young is the right thing to do because i believe that marriage is forever no such thing as divorce for me so i want to make sure that i have weighed all my options before we decide to go through with it. i don’t have that much knowledge of the military but i have been doing a lot of reading about it so i just wont be married to a military man i’ll be able to have some insight into the military, i really love him even though some who suggest we are to young to be in love i disagree. so any comments or advise would be greatly appreciated .

  36. Lena says:

    Thank you so much for starting this. My husband of 5 years has decided Navy is the best way to provide for out family. We have a 2 years old and plan to have a few more down the road. I am terrified of moving away from my family and starting a new life on our own. But I def stand behind him in this decision. This site has given me more cofidence that I can be strong for him. It will suck for a while but things will def get better!

  37. Holli says:

    I am 18 years old && my fiancé has been wanting to join the military for a while now but I always said no. We went to a friends house the other day && she was telling me how great it was because her husband is fixing to leave to start basics. She said her kids are taken care of && the only thing she is upset about is moving away from her family. My fiancé keeps telling me it would be a great idea. That we would be taken care of financially && physically && I live to travel anyways && were even talking about bumping out marriage up to the next few weeks so I can benefit. The way he explains it makes it all seem too good to be true but I’m agreeing with it. && this blog helped a lot thanks!

  38. admin says:

    You’re welcome! Just like anything in life, military living has its ups and downs. The one big thing different than civilian life is that it is not 9 to 5 and even though the military stresses how important family and taking care of family is…the military comes first…so your husband’s job and then family. Be proud to be a part of something bigger than you.

  39. Leonie says:

    It’s quite clear to me that you people seek out military husbands for the monetary and social status it gives you. Honestly, this is utterly digusting. My older brother is a Navy SEAL, 10 months removed from his graduation and I pray to God that he does not have his heart broken by marrying one of you people. I’ve already seen it happen to several of his teammates, and they are coming to the realization that these women don’t really love them. They love the benefits and the praise their husband brings. You people are just repulsive.

  40. admin says:

    Spoken by someone who has no military experience. I was born into it. I served in the Army. Now I’m married to a soldier. I write this article just to show how special military life is that we married someone in the military. We obviously do this not out of selfish reasons. We give up a lot to lead this life, and we do it out of love for our spouses and also love for our country and something above and beyond us. Sorry you can’t grasp that. Let me suggest you find a greater good than your hatred filled message.

  41. His Support says:

    Hi y’all. I’m only 17 and my best friend/boyfriend is leaving for meps this coming weekend.. Ive don’t all the research and we’ve both talked about it in length so I’m ready for him to leave for basic.. physically. I’m going to be a wreck emotionally! Any advice?

  42. Navy Wife says:

    I was a navy wife for 14 years and the navy always said they take care of the family. They gave me a thank you note when my husband retired and said how grateful they were for my “service” of helping my husband with his career. He died and I was left with no pension and to finish raising my 4 sons. I did retain commissary, exchange and health benefits, but no pension. He didn’t tell me that he had taken the pension without survivor benefits. I was not told of this until after he died. I helped make his career and that’s the thanks I received from the military. If he had been a civilian I would have received his pension. I stayed home, took care of our kids, arranged moves to far off countries, helped him with his career and that’s what I got for “My Service” – Nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. admin says:

    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss! I know the Army is required to notify the spouse in writing if there are no insurance benefits or the servicemember declines. There is also an automatic $100,000 death benefit that is separate and is paid immediately upon death.

    I urge spouses to know about your family’s finances and to both know what will happen upon each others’ death, not just the servicemember. A couples’ finances and bills should be a shared responsibility and by you coming forward, you can help others who might not have even thought about this.

    Again, I am truly sorry.

  44. Navy Wife says:

    Thank you for your kind words. I even took my “case” of “no survivor pension” to Diane Feinstein of California who intervened on my behalf, and it went all way to the paymaster to no avail, as a 1940′s law said since I didn’t let the military know that he died and he didn’t let me know that he didn’t sign up for spousal insurance benefits and have me sign that I knew he didn’t provide for me, that it was too late to do anything about it. I did notify them of his death as I sent his last pension check off to them and also sent his death certificate to them. He was buried in a military cemetery. I followed all procedures that I was required to do. I worked hard being a “Navy Wife” and mother and equally hard after he retired. He died in 1984. It has been very hard for me as I spent most of “his” military career not working in the work place, but “working” at being a “good Navy Wife” with no pay. Thank you for your understanding and I hope that I will help other spouses understand that they need to know everything about “their” different military benefits.

  45. admin says:

    I am just so sorry to read this. Looks like you got lost in the shuffle! I applaud you for fighting for what you believed in, and if your story helps even one spouse then you should take some comfort in that. Stay strong and thank you for sharing your experience.

  46. Brenda says:

    Hi I am 21 years old my husband is 22 we have a one year old child and we have already sat down to discuss about him joining the army I have a cousin that her husband is in the army to so I kind of know what is going on but I don’t know the feeling of being an army wife we are married and never have I liked being alone although I am willing to do anything to stay as close as I can except for the beginning. So I guess what I am trying to ask is if it is possible for me to be living in another city while he he’s gone and still receive the benefits we get or it doesn’t work like that? I do have many questions and we have already talked to a recruiter but as I come home and think about it I keep having never ending questions…

  47. admin says:

    Yes, he would have to be what’s called a “geographical bachelor”. What has been the norm is that he would receive housing benefits for your zipcode but then not get an allowance for his duty station. Many of those guys live in the barracks. Once he goes over a certain rank…I think it is SGT perhaps, he may not be authorized a barracks room and would have to pay for his lodging out of pocket. The regulations change all the time. I don’t know what the lastest is. This is just what I remember. Another thing to keep in mind is that military spouses need to be VERY independent and be able to do a lot on their own to be successful as such. If you are not now, it is something you can grown and mature to be, so don’t worry too much if you are hesitant about being alone right now. We also have a great support network of friends and spouses through our husband’s work.

  48. nonnie says:

    so my brother who is just 23 called to say he wants to enlist in the army and i am so freaked out. he isnt a citizen yet as he came to study in the usa with a full schlarship, he said the army will help him get his papers if he enlists. is that true? also, is it possible for him to enlist without being assigned to see any form of action? am so worried, cos when anyone hears about the army, all you quickly think about is the thought of not getting a phone call to hear of any demise. he is so excited about this and in as much as i commend him for his bravery, am freaking out. should i be as worried as i really am?

  49. admin says:

    Yes there is a quicker route to citizenship if you serve. That part is correct.

    Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can choose to be away from the action. A soldier’s primary mission is still just that…even if they are a truck driver, an accountant or whatever other specialty they have. But the military will give your soldier the skills, training and support to do well.

    No need to freak out. The odds of someone dying crossing the street or probably higher than being a soldier in the US Army. It is mostly safe. Plus, and especially with all the new training and ideas in the works, soldiers will finish their term more organized, confident and a better person in the end. I wish all teenagers were required to serve. It would give them a better sense of direction and who they are.

  50. Kayla says:

    Hi my husband has recently told me he wants to join the army. When he first told me I was shocked and scared. But the more I think about it the more I am coming to terms with it. I am going to stand by my husband through anything and everything. I want to be his support system and let him know that web though his family doesn’t agree with his choice I will always be there standing next to him. But I also confused about everything. When he leaves for basic training if its in another state do I go to or stay in the current state I’m in. When in basic does he get paid I am a stay at home wife mom because my husband doesn’t want me working. So how do I pay the bills with no money. When he gets stationed what happens to us. Do we get to go what about housing does the army pay for that or do we. I’m just so lost on so many things.

  51. admin says:

    Congrats to you! Once your husband signs, you can become an Army family. Make sure he gets you into the system or you won’t get any benefits (housing, medical, onpost access, etc). This program is called DEERS. His recruiter will know what to do. You do not accompany him to Basic, so make sure you have a support system at home while he is away at training. Contact with him will be limited, so I suggest you get on all the checking accounts and take over paying the bills and keeping track of everything. He needs to be able to concentrate on just Basic while he is gone. This will also make you more independent and confident. Your husband will get special housing pay dependent on your zipcode where you are now in addition to his regular paycheck and some other benefits. You’ll also be able to access healthcare and dental where you are located as well, again once you are in the system. Please take the time to go with your hubby when he visits his recruiter next. They should be able to allay any of your concerns better than I can! Welcome to a brave new world!

  52. Kayla says:

    Hi I have expressed my concerns on here already, but I am finding myself in need of some support. My husband and I will be meeting a recruiter in less than a week. I have had so many questions going through my mind, to many to even start to write down so I thought. But now the day is getting closer it’s like my mind goes blank a little more everyday. So please if anybody can what are some good questions to ask the recruiter. Also I have heard bad stories about recruiters that the dot tell the whole story an they sometimes won’t go into detail. So please if anyone can help it would be much appreciated. Thank you!

  53. Luisa says:

    Hi! First of all, I want to thank you for your and your husband’s service. Second, this blog is amazing. My boyfriend is trying to get enlisted in the Air Force, he’s always wanted to and I finally gave in (I’m 23, he’s 25). I stand by him on any decision he makes, because he spoils me, treats me right, respects me and I want him to fulfill his dreams. We sat down to talk about it and we also discussed the positives right after the negatives and it definitely made me feel much better. I’ve always dreamed of an adventure, so here it comes right? I would be proud to be an Army-Wife, and I will try my best to stay strong for my man. If he gets accepted into the Air Force, we will get married and start the life together we’ve always wanted. I honestly cannot wait for this hard yet learning experience to start, and I already feel proud to soon be part of such beautiful big family. :)

  54. aly says:

    So I’d like to start with I’m not use to doing this so sorry if I am confusing or maybe ignorant to how things work. My boyfriend is in the army he’s 23 and I’m 22. We’re the crazy honeymooner loves that everyone is envious of but from the beginning of the relationship it’s been long distance (I feel lucky after reading most of the comments that he’s at least in the states). We haven’t been together that long but we’ve know each other for most our lives. I guess what led me here was now he’s looking to be stationed in Germany and they’re telling him at least 4 years! It seems so long from my point of view and I joke about hiding in his suitcase to go with him but that’s led to him to think seriously and he very much wishes I could go with him to but our families see a marriage or anything like that being is rushing into things. But I wanted to know are these fast relationships normal? Do they work out or do they drive people apart? He sees it as a way he can give me the world so to speak like he tells me he always wants to but it’s rather frightening from a first-time perspective.

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